August 01, 2016

"what we have now is a failure to communicate"

Last Saturday I sent in my food diary to my sports nutrition coach. I was about 1000 calories over what I was supposed to eat for the entire week. 1000 calories over a 7 day period isn't bad. Its not perfect, but its still pretty good. He sent back an email telling me he wasnt going to adjust my calories unless i had a solid week. What he meant was he wanted me to have a solid week in regards to sports performance, which is awesome because weightlifting is my #1 goal. What I thought he meant was he wanted me to have a better week in regards to diet or he wouldn't adjust my calories. So on Sunday I became rebellious about the imaginary slight and I ate what ever the hell I wanted to. By Wednesday I was feeling guilty about losing traction on my diet plan so I contacted him and complained that my eating was only 1000 calories over for an entire week and that should have been good enough for a calorie adjustment. He sent back a kind and well thought out explanation telling me my calories were great and he didn't want to adjust my calories on a week that I wasn't feeling strong in the gym. He told me he knew performance was my #1 goal and he didn't want to sacrifice performance for fast weight loss. Ooops. I screwed up. I made an assumption and instead of communicating with my nutrition coach I gave up. In other words he was doing exactly what a sports nutrition coach should do and I did exactly the opposite of what I should do as an athlete. I didn't have the heart to tell him I fell off the diet wagon. I was supposed to send him my weeks diet journal, but I am feeling so remorseful and imbarrassed I didn't. Usually if I hadn't sent in my food journal by Sunday he calls or emails me to ask for it. I still haven't heard from him. I'm assuming it's because he realizes I'm pretty much a pain in the ass, will always be a problem, and has given up on trying to help me. If that's the case I don't blame him. But I have no idea if that's the case or not because I'm still to ashamed by my lack of communication to contact him to tell him what the hell is going on. Do you see how stupid that is? I'm to imbarrassed about my lack of communication to communicate. Sometimes I'm a real dumb ass.

1 comment:

actor momma thrower said...

It is ALL journey my friend....he doesn't expect perfection in anything, I think that's why he is a good coach. Tell him what you just told all of us and the two of you will move forward from here.

Stubborn, sometimes afraid....but you are NOT a pain in the ass....