Not this time

Last week was a week full of challenges for me. Both of my kids got a horrible
case of the stomach flue. My son had it the worse. Although I had experienced my
daughter having the stomach flue when she was only a few months old it didn't
make it any less scary with my son. He's only 4 months old & to watch him be
that sick was very distressing. Both my little ones ended up pulling through it
and are up to their old ways already. Thank God.

I got exited Saturday because I'd lost enough weight that none of my jeans fit.
My wife made a big deal out of taking me to Sears for a couple pair of skinny
jeans. What a great wife I have. She said all the right things to really make me
feel good about myself. When we got there we started searching for a pair that
would fit me, after about ten minutes we realized Sears didn't sell any jeans
that large. We went to 2 other stores at the mall looking for a pair large
enough to fit me. No luck. I'm still to big to shop for clothes in a normal
person store. Normally things like that upset me allot & when something bothers me I turn to food for comfort. I'm not going to lie, I was ready to start shoveling down some serious
food.

When I got home there was a package in the mail for me. I assumed it was going
to be my weight watchers book on eating out. To my surprise when I opened it up
it was a 3rd place trophy for the Silverman Iron distance triathlon. In case
anyone is not up to speed on the happenings of Cody-the-Clydesdale, I DNF'd that
race a couple weeks ago. That trophy sat there in my hands mocking me, my weight
problems, & all that I wanted so badly to be. Oh how badly I want to be an
Ironman. I've been a triathlete for 4.5 years & that entire time I trained for
one reason. To finish 140.6 miles in under 17 hrs. To hear "Cody Hanson, you are
an Ironman." To be able to get the M-dot tattooed on the back of my calf. All
that I desired was sitting in my hands in a painful reminder that I had failed.
There were only 3 people in the Clyd division at the Silverman. If I could of only finished the bike by the cutoff time I would of truly earned
that trophy. It was a beautiful trophy. I rarely get mad. It's always been
pretty hard to get me upset. Sitting there with my dream trophy in my hands that
I failed to earn & having to wear a pair of sweat pants because Santa Fe doesn't
sell jeans large enough for me was more than enough to push me over board. I got
2 boxes of brownie mix out & started making me a huge pan of feel good!
A couple of minutes before the brownies were ready I turned on the TV. I found
that the Ironman World championships was on. It had been on long enough that I
saw who the top 10 males & females were. I saw an idol of mine had made it into
the top 10. Michael Lovato. Most of my buddies don't know why I'm such a big fan
of his. A few years ago I was watching the Ironman Championships & saw that
there was a pro triathlete (Lovato) who was expected to finish top 5. Lovato got
severe intestinal problems on the bike & ended up finishing somewhere around 13 hrs & in 298th place. But dang it he finished! Almost every top tier pro
triathlete I'd seen to that point had quit when he/she was not going to finish
the race near where they expected. I understand why they do this. It would be
better to get off the course & DNF than risk ruining the next season due to
injury. But Lovato finished, risking injury, he simply refused to take the easy
route out. He continued on even when almost every other athlete in his position
would of stopped, he never quit! His fortitude brought him back into the money.
Often times God takes care of me even when I do not deserve it. I experienced a
couple of things that day that were painful & incredibly humiliating to me. My
family watched me search in vain to find any jeans that would fit & I now own a
trophy to remind me of one of the most painful failures of my life. When I was
ready to call it quits God put one of the only things in front of me that could
of pulled me out of my own self misery. I watched more & more athletes cross that finish line & I decided I was NOT going to DNF again! And part of my
plan had to be to lose this last 34 lbs. I turned off the oven, got out my
bike, rode to the correctional academy gym & hit a great 1hr chest & back
workout with the free weights, then I rode my bike across town to the pool & had
an incredible 40 minute swim. Went to the cardio room upstairs & did 3 sets of
10 minutes rowing to 10 minutes running, repeat. Then I rode to the Santa Fe
high school & ran up & down the entire stadium twice which took another 45
minutes. By then it was dark & rode I back home. Total time on bike round trip
was 2:10 minutes. I completed a total workout of 5hrs 5 minutes.

I want to become an Ironman now more than ever. Not only to prove to myself that I can can do it but also to show my children by example that as long as they continue to try, learn from their mistakes, & don't except failure they can overcome any obstacle.